1. 1. Your uterus – Congratulations. You have procreated. But why (why) do I need to see your unfinished babay? It’s just kinda uncomfortable. A status update is totally encompassing for this announcement.
2. 2. Very, very premature, post-birth – Congratulations again. Childbirth is a beautiful thing. But please, give the little guy (or lady) a second to breathe, and a few more seconds to get cleaned off before snapping the shutter. And if you can’t do that, at least spare the rest of us who expected to see cute, screaming baby pics, sans umbilical cords.
3. 3. New, empty apartment – Well there’s a theme of congratulations on these. Congrats, you don’t live with your parents anymore. But unless there is something especially groundbreaking about your new place, it probably looks like any other affordable, normal apartment. At least wait ‘til you got some grub in your fridge and do it Cribs style.
